"It's not my fault! Her 'ta-tas' were in my face!" my friend insisted.

I scowled at him indignantly. I couldn't believe it! I mean, this kind of behavior was understandable in an unsaved guy, but he was a Christian for goodness' sake!

As we walked away, he yanked on my arm.

"There! Over there! That's her," he urged, and directed my attention to a girl on my right.

I turned to look, and lo and behold: Her "ta-tas" - as he'd so elegantly described them - were staring me straight in the face! The girl's too-small tank top sported a v-neck so low that it strained to keep from spilling out breasts undoubtedly somewhere between a double-D and a triple-X.

Horrified, I could do no more than stare, as my friend threw me a look that said, So who's the victim now?

Christians are often quick to caution against lust, particularly when a man engages in it. However, when all things are considered, how much of their behavior is really their fault? 

Can we blame a man for staring at a female's "juicy" behind when in bold letters across her backside is literally the word "Juicy?"

It is no mystery that when it comes to attraction men are more visually enticed. How much of a responsibility then - if any at all - should a woman assume in causing a man to lust?

When it comes down to the dirt, every person is responsible for his own thoughts and actions (2 Corinthians 5:10.) However, we each have some responsibility for one another as well (2 Corinthians 6:3.) The apostle Peter admonishes women that our beauty should not be merely external but a matter of attitude as well as spirit; for those qualities are what please the Lord (1 Peter 3:3-4.)

The idea, however, is not that we shouldn't look visually appealing but that our physical beauty should not be all our worth. In other words, I'm not saying that women should look like "Frumpy-Francine!" By all means, ladies, put on some makeup! Do your hair! If we know that men are attracted by physical beauty, then of course, it makes sense to present ourselves in a way that is physically appealing.

However, as with anything, there must be limitations. Sporting a cute dress that compliments your eyes is great! Flaunting a skirt that reveals your "Goodness and Mercies," as a friend of mine puts it, is not!

Keep in mind: "Beautiful" is a very different concept from "sexy." "Beautiful" can refer to anything that delights the senses, in other words, anything that appeals to the sight and also the mind. "Sexy," on the other hand, relates to anything that explicitly causes sexual thoughts.

A woman should always aim for beauty. "Sexy," however, is something that we should reserve for our husbands. After all, we should only want to inspire sexual thoughts in our marriage partner and no one else!

If you are unsure whether or not you are "Boasting Beauty" or "Licensing Lust," take the quiz below. Hopefully, it will help you better rightly portray the beautiful woman that God created you to be!

1. You notice in the mirror just before you leave the house that in natural light your skirt is somewhat see-through. You...

a. ...run back upstairs and change. You have other, more appropriate skirts in your wardrobe that are just as fabulous.

b. ...make up your mind to walk with your legs close together. That way you'll be less exposed and your thighs will get a good workout in the process. Besides, it'll get darker soon anyway.

c. ...ignore it and head out the door. Whoever looks will look - it's not your problem if they're nasty!

2. You're out shopping and you find a fabulous dress! Only, when you try it on, you notice the "V" at the front drops kind of low. You...

a. ...put the dress back and search for another one that's less revealing but equally glam.

b. ...buy the dress and vow to remember to put a pin in it.

c. ...buy the dress and wear it as is - Eat your heart out, Beyonce!

3. You're busy greeting people in church, looking fly as ever, but as you turn around, your friend discloses that your panty-lines are showing. You...

a. ...borrow your friend's cardigan and jokingly thank her for helping you stay "cute" but "saved!"

b. ...dip, dodge and duck to keep your back facing away from the congregation as much as possible. Just because the preacher says "All rise" doesn't mean you have to!

c. ...ignore her and strut your stuff. "Ms. Holier-than-thou" is always hatin' on you anyway. Besides, you didn't buy that jeweled thong for nothing!

Quiz results

Mostly A's: "Boasting Beautiful!" - Congrats! You know how to be fly and fabulous without flaunting all your personal goods. Keep it up, you beautiful woman of God!

Mostly B's: "Sending Sexy Signals!" - Beware! Though you exert some effort to monitor your look, you need to be more purposeful about shunning the "sexy" and embracing the "beautiful." Here's a new wardrobe rule for you to live by: If in doubt, throw it out!

--Excerpt from Confessions of a Born Again Virgin blog

Crystal Pemberton is a sassy writer on a mission to make ho-hum, boring spiritual truths ever so practical for the everyday young adult. She is a graduate of Yale University and the author of Confessions of a Born-again Virgin.She currently lives in the Bronx, New York, where she is a writer, inspirational speaker and active worship leader at Love and Grace Christian Center.