A good friend of mine jokes that I'm never up to speed on flicks. I suppose he's right, since I've just gotten around to seeing Eat, Pray, Love starring Julia Roberts. Ms. Thang was the perfect gal to play Liz Gilbert, the safe white-collared lady turned spirited globe trotter in the 2010 book-to-film phenom.

Roberts, a Hollywood sweetheart, once again brought her rich laugh, golden charm and unmatched essence to the silver screen...even if Eat, Pray, Love's message is, well, not all that true. Though catchy, Eat, Pray, Love is flat.

Take it from someone who's reinvented herself, oh, three or four times...life makeovers are best done when one's in cahoots with Abba Father. Absent of Him, all other efforts are fly-by-night, happy-go-lucky and humanistic aspirations. Good things are not always God things, y'all. I'd like to offer a better 3-word approach: Ask, Seek, Knock. (Matt. 7:7)

· Ask the Lord what it is He wants to do with your life.

· Seek His truth and excellence in all that you endeavor.

· Knock so that God opens doors to His resources and opportunities, breaks and discounts, divine encounters and godly partnerships, love and harmony, joy and laughter, provision and protection, anointing and appointing, strategic placement and systematic advancement.

Don't mistake me; women OUGHT TO eat, pray and love. In other words, ladies SHOULD seek to improve and, as Paul penned, go from "glory to glory." There's been tons written on how the young adult woman-one approaching 30, in particular-could give her life a boost, perhaps ala Liz Gilbert style. Some thirteen years before Eat, Pray, Love, one ever-changing woman penned a wildly popular Glamour magazine column entitled, 30 Things that Every Woman Should Have and Know by 30. So wild it was, in fact, that Pamela Redmond Satran's heralded advice still circulates as an email chain letter, except that it's commonly attributed as "Maya Angelou's Best Poem Ever." Recently, Essence.com's Janelle Harris remade Satran's iconic work by writing from the Black woman's perspective. Harris noted 30 Things Every BLACK Woman Should Know and Have by 30.

In response, my beloved sisterfriends (who responded to a hurried call to duty) and I would like to offer a Christian woman's perspective. A million thanks to all of my girls! A compilation of text messages gave birth to the following ode:

1. Know your God...His Bible...His promises.

2. Mentor a younger woman.

3. Find out your credit score.

4. Protect your credit score.

5. Rock a bold, fierce haircut.

6. Buy yourself fresh flowers.

7. Make it through at least one 21-day, Daniel-type fast.

8. Master one of those sweat-yo'-perm-out, "Devil-you-messed-with-the-wrong-female!" warfare prayers.

9. Find or facilitate a good, well-run sister-to-sister Bible study.

10. Have a signature dish...one you can be counted on to "put yo' foot in."

11. Live on your own...and a college dorm doesn't count.

12. Realize that you're His daughter before you're his girl.

13. Give God His 10 percent so He can show you how to be savvy with the other 90.

14. Practice good mothering, whether or not you have kids of your own.

15. Whatever you do, DON'T practice good mothering on a man!

16. Attend at least one show-stopping, foot-stomping woman's conference ("Woman, thou art loosed," anyone?)

17. Aim to be more than just a bride for day, but a wife for life!

18. Take care of your vajayjay; get a pap smear...or two or three or four...

19. Take care of the twins. Get a mammogram and support breast cancer research fundraising.

20. Participate in a short-term mission trip.

21. Get a stamp on your passport...and not the mission trip type.

22. Dare to say no to drugs.

23. Host a sleepover.

24. Learn all of the line dances. Yes, you got it, girlfriend...the electric slide, cha-cha slide, Mississippi slide, cupid shuffle, wobble...or, honey, choreograph your own!

25. Color outside of the lines.

26. Believe in godly love.

27. Vote.

28. Strive for not just a job but a career.

29. Learn the power of silence.

30. Maintain your dignity.

Ana Valeska is a not-so-naughty librarian, college instructor, book editor and--yeah,baby--NEWD columnist. Her forthcoming work, Tu Eres (You Are), is a devotional based on modern-day worship psalms. Ana Valeska longs to help redeem urban, young adult culture for the Lord Jesus. Her daughter, Selena, and cat, Puffles, have her wrapped around their little fingers.