I remember having a conversation a while back with a friend of mine who candidly told me that she did not want to marry a spiritual guy. She’d had her fair share of guys who looked for “signs” in missing the bus or in a new friend’s house number or in the nauseous feeling they get when they are about to board a plane. She thought, why couldn’t it be that he just missed the bus because he woke up late? So, what if the new friend lives at 777 Pembroke Lane? And maybe he got queasy when he boarded the plane because he’s anxious about flying? Did everything have to have such an impractical, overly-spiritual rationale?
She hated to say it but when a guy was that “spiritual,” it often meant that his feet weren’t planted firmly on the ground. It meant he lacked the earthly “capital” it took to live a productive life. Some of the earthly signs that he was an overly spiritual guy were:
- He had a hard time holding down a job.
- He had a circle of friends who lived for all-night prayer vigil but not for early-morning work meetings.
- In a disagreement, he would say, “Let’s pray about it” rather than “Let’s talk this out.”
- He would claim that she is not spiritual enough because she didn’t easily succumb to his decisions.
- He would put up a front rather than tell her his true feelings as not to betray his “I’m living in victory, I’m above negative emotions, I’m too blessed to be stressed” false kind of “spiritual mindset.”
- He was broke.
The truth is he would use his “spiritual” capital to mask other earthly deficiencies. And, she never wanted a man to be so spiritual that he couldn’t be a MAN!
In the case of my friend, she was a stalwart woman of God, a seer and a dreamer, she was a ministry leader at her church and had an active prayer life. She wasn’t by any stretch of the imagination “unspiritual.” So, what should a woman in her position need in a man to feel like she is spiritually taken care of?
Perhaps, we will hear some of these truths in a webinar hosted by Christian life coach and Neurolinguistic Programming Practitioner Tobi Atte at his webinar “What Every Woman Should Know about Spiritual Leadership in the home” launching Thursday, November 17, 2015.
But if I were to take a stab at it, I’d guess that a woman would simply be looking for:
- A Man humble enough to learn more about God and what is expected of him as a man, husband and father
- A Man who treats his wife like a woman, not like his church member
- A Man who provides for his home because if he doesn’t he’s “worse than an unbeliever” anyway. (1 Timothy 5:8 He’s not spiritual at all if he leaves his family in want.)
What are you looking for in the spiritual head of your home?